The End or is it the Beginning for the Soldier.

Every good thing comes to an end and so died the friendship for which I don’t know how many nights I must have spent, how many hours I spent on this beautiful union only to see one fine day every thing crumbling as if some Afghani had come with all the fire power they can garnish to send me packing to hell. But as always as it happened I always managed to come out alive of their ambush and today sitting here I am fighting hard to come to conclusion whether this time I have come out of it alive or I am dead and reached hell cause I don’t see any thing around me which gives me pleasure or happiness. I find everything so abnormal so very alien so very difficult.

But still I am happy cause what I heard of hell was a place of continuous torture but on this part I am happy Or may be it must be the special concession a soldier must be getting cause I do have some very beautiful moments when I speak to my loved ones and the joy is so great that it makes me think that it is not real , that it is just a mirage which every soldier has when he is in the desert for days and sees everything as a oasis of Champagne or when he is caught in a snow storm or is in the mid of a avalanche and he things nothing but God.

This incident has really changed for me the meaning of friendship , trust , sacrifice suddenly all these words which have been a second nature to me for a decade being in the Combat and moving with my Section of strength of 10 fine fighting machine called MEN has really put up a big question mark. Am I expecting too much from this world, so called a civil society for a soldier like me. Suddenly to venture out in this world is becoming a big problem to me. I am for the first time really feeling the butterflies in my stomach. Never I had them not even then when I faced bullets for the first time in Guwahati from a close distance of 1 meter and I was unarmed at the railway station cause I was on leave and was going home. I was still at my senses and took cover without forgetting the basic drills of lie down and search cover. I was still composed and in my senses to take charge of the situation and help the military police and then my friend who was then commanding the QRT at Guwahati Railway station to help gun down the miscreants.

It took lot of time for me to reinforce my confidence which had shattered after the bullets which pierced my body tearing and breaking everything that came in its way to face this world. The scars told me always Rahul you have to prove your self and I was proving it, walking today without a crutch when there in no left hip bone, what ever remaining is solid mass of broken dead bones and tissues which pains like hot needles being pierced but this incidence shook me from my basic fundamentals of my ideology and the very basics which keeps me in belief that I am still alive.

Life has probably another test for me, or may be how many more. But I still believe in this world , still believe in friendship, still believe in trust, still believe in sacrifice cause I have forgiven that person and I have moved ahead in my life cause I believe in love , cause I believe in God ,cause I am a SOLDIER and history proves that this society has always betrayed its soldier but soldier always does his job cause he is made to do it, cause he is a soldier.

And I believe in these lines

‘ When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that Friendship is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows lies the seed
that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the
rose '.

May God bless all those and every one cause there will always be soldiers like me who will be coming from the same society.AMEN.